The Silent Consonant

The English language has words that have silent consonants.  Cupboard, mortgage, salmon, to name a few.  This is a real tale about one of those consonants.  Can you guess which letter?

Straight friends love to have parties over the weekend to celebrate their kids' birthdays.  Since I have lots of straight friends, I get to be invited as the gay uncle to most of these parties and one has to be selective when accepting.  It's a toss between driving out to the boonies and eating cotton candy with shrieking ten year olds or staying home and getting as much city dick as you can possibly want.  Of course this weekend, I chose the former :-)

True enough it was suburban boredom for me.  Rabbits in the backyard, dogs barking in the front, kids running & chasing balloons in the hallways with their faces full of chiffon cakes.  It was enough to send me into uncle purgatory and so I fired up the Grindr account just to see who else is trapped in this gay forsaken suburbia.  

I saw two really close and cute guys, both under a mile away.  One was a 32 yo redneck, the other a 45 yo skinhead Daddy.  I always like Daddies, and they always like me (well almost always) so I chose the latter and popped him a hi.  No response back.  I didn't bother with the redneck since in my experience, they do not like Asians that much.

The hostess saw me in the lounge corner by myself and thought I was bored.  She asked me what I was up to and being an openly gay friend, I told her about Grindr and its heterosexual equivalent, Blendr.  To say she was amused was an understatement.  She immediately asked me to show her which ones are gay in her neck of the woods.  After all she says, she needs to know, because there might be lurking bisexual boys around who might ensnare their teenage kids.  Bisexual readers beware; our straight friends are onto us!

Just as I was showing her the local catch of the day in G, the 32 yo redneck Johnny messaged me.

Johnny:  Hey, wats doing?

Me: Hey I'm good how are you?

Johnny:  Good

Johnny:  Horny a bit

"Oh My God," shrieked my hostess friend.  "Are you serious?  Is he really that upfront?" she enquired.  I explained that homos are indeed and we don't really need to spend hundreds of dollars wining and dining each other just to get laid.

"Daaaaad, look!  We have gay neighbors!" she called and giggled out to her husband, who happens to be my good (straight) friend from high school.

Me:  Same here

Johnny:  Where u?

Johnny:  Horny top here

Johnny:  U?

Me:  (sends him my GPS location)

Johnny:  You're just two blocks away from me!

Johnny:  (sends me his GPS location)

Johnny:  You btm or vers?

Me:  Btm

Johnny:  I'm chillin on my bed, cum over

My straight couple friends came back and ogled at the guys in G.  Funny how straights seem interested in gays that way.  They asked me what the top, btm or vers abbreviations meant and then laughed out loud at the explanation.

"No, really?  There are roles?" they both exclaimed with wide eyes.  D'oh!  Time to get cracking.  I asked to be excused from the party for half an hour max, promising to be back asap.  I swear they were more excited than I was when they waved me off their front door, begging me to be careful.

Five minutes and two blocks up later, I came upon a suburban house with a white picket fence and an open driveway.  This was the address given to me and just as I pulled out my phone to text him as I was standing in the pavement, an old battered white car drove slowly past me, the driver inside curiously glancing at me.  Fair enough, I was sticking out like a sore thumb in a suburban street.  Then the white car drove into the very driveway I was about to walk into.  Shit!  His roommate's now home I thought.  Much to my surprise, an older man with silver hair in his 60s came out of the car and he kept looking at me. 

Oh My Lawd!?  It's his father! 

I stood frozen in the driveway as the front door opened and out came 32 yo gigantic 6'4 redneck Johnny.  He was half naked except for running shorts, his chest, arms and legs full of tattoos.  He exchanged a few words with the old man who then went inside the front door and Johnny beckoned me to come to the porch.

"Was that your …. ?" I tentatively asked.

"Yeah, my Dad's home now.  Nah, it's cool.  He's knows about me."  Johnny replied.

"Are you sure about this?" I still couldn't believe this Twilight Zone Shores episode I was in.

"Yeah, yeah, come in.  Follow me," Johnny said and walked back inside.  His backside was even heavier tattooed than his chest.  Was I about to have sex with a bikie or ex-con guy, because he certainly had that look about him?  I followed him to his bedroom, just as I spied his father in the kitchen eating a sandwich.

Totally weirded out, I didn't know how to react so I sat down on the bed and so did half naked redneck Johnny.

Up close he was a handsome guy with shaved Mohawk hair and intensely blue eyes that were kinda spaced out.  Either he was as nervous as I was or he was stoned, or both, I really couldn't tell.

"Suck me," he pulled down his yellow running shorts down, revealing a 5" inch soft cut cock sitting on top of a completely shaved crotch.  His balls were pink and so grooved and smooth; he must have just shaved out of the shower.  It was then that I realized his entire body was shaved - his arms, legs, chest and groin areas.  He was like a big naked football quarterback baby.

I did as I was told and pretty soon he was sighing loudly as his 7" erection now stood at full mast.  My other hand was fondling his shaved balls and he kept his legs open exposing his beautiful chunky sexy thighs.

As we both could hear his father moving around the kitchen, we couldn't make much sounds of our own and the most he could do was to fondle my head and push his hard cock into my throat and me down into his thighs, as he sighed deeply in silent pleasure.

I took off my clothes and he greedily sucked on my hairy, unshaved cock.  He was good at it and I closed my eyes and tried focusing on his warm mouth rather than the sounds of TV channels being changed in the lounge room outside.

Johnny then pulled me down and he kissed me hungrily as his other hand snaked towards my butt and fingered my hole.  He spat on his fingers and then wet my hole with his saliva. I could not believe he intended to fuck me with his father just a wall behind us?!

He laid me spread-eagled face down on his bed and got in between my cheeks and ate my ass quietly.  It felt so good but I could not give him any verbal feedback, as I had to be as quiet as a mouse.  Then Johnny mounted me.

We didn't discuss rubbers while texting and it was clear he wasn't wearing one, since I didn't hear any rustling of a condom packet being torn open.  With one swift lunge he buried his now hard 7" incher inside my hole and I so wanted to gasp, but bit my arm instead.  Quietly he fucked me in long strokes.  Since both of our hearing senses were in pause, I couldn't know if he liked what he was doing.

Then he got off me and sat on the bed again with his back to the pillows and headboard.  Grabbing his towel, he wiped his cock and motioned to be sucked again, which I complied.

I slowly deep throated him and sunk down to the very base of his balls and this time he gasped audibly!  He was letting go of his guard.  His father was watching ESPN outside and we both wished he wouldn't hear us.

I could tell Johnny was close because his piss slit was getting salty so I chewed on his nipples and started to stroke him up and down.  His cock was now completely rock hard and totally wet with my saliva and glistening red at the tip with blood, just minutes away from exploding.

"I'm about to come," he audibly half gasped.

I dove to his cock and swallowed his cock head while my hand was still stroking his shaft up and down.

"I'm coming," he repeated, trying to warn me again, mentally asking me whether to avoid his semen or to swallow it.

"I'll swallow it if you moan for me," I whispered to him.

"Ooooooh My Goooooood," he moaned and sighed, half aloud.

"Louder!" I whispered as I went up for air and then slammed my throat down to the base.

"Aaaaaaaaaaagh," he let loose and his cum volleyed down my throat. 

"Aaaaaaaaaaagh," he kept spasming as he pushed my head down, as my left finger found his butt hole and massaged it.  I could feel it twitch with every spooge spurt.  His giant football thighs and legs were thrashing up and down in orgasmic glee in the bed as he sadistically choked my head down to his crotch, making me engulf his cock.

His moans were not muffled anymore and I had no doubt that they were louder than the football game on TV his father was watching just outside.

I swallowed his salty cum to avoid choking.  Redneck spunk never tasted so delicious as we both got dressed; me in my street clothes, him in just his running shorts, his still half hard cock making an obvious tent as he showed me to the door.  His father barely looked up from the TV and just nodded to me as I waved goodbye (to Johnny).

Not for me to judge but in that suburban household, one divorced father is a silent spectator to his tattooed redneck son's sexual escapades.